It's been a long time since I blogged last. But while I've got 45 minutes between one thing and the next, why not.
Reading Ursula K. Le Guin's collection of blogs and essays, No Time to Spare, helps spur the horse onward; nothing like reading the reflections of a brilliant wordsmith to get the flame kindled.
Last time I wrote, Mars was retrograde. Now Venus is. The world seems no less stormy or tumultuous. In fact, with hurricanes roaring to shore, it seems more so.
Today hard lessons were learned. I caught myself in a mire and now struggle to break free of the goo.
It's a Venusian slick of laziness and indulgence, coupled with a Saturn crush of low self-esteem, indolence, and delay.
I'm speaking of natal placements that, today, have found me in a prison of their architecture. It breeds compassion within me, feeling a need to change something that has, up until this very second, been all I've ever known.
How do you leave existence behind and move to something else? How do you step out of an old form and into the unknown?
Can that new Elysian Field be known at all?
Are we talking of leaving Hell and entering Heaven?
Hell it seems we know all to well. But this enigma of Heaven....tell me more, gentle traveler! What is this strangeness of which you conceive???
I've felt a sense of large weight bearing on me that I keep and keep and keep pushing against. This is a familiar weight, and I know it's not an accident of Mercury's day giving me exactly what I've earned. It's a larger pattern, and it only seems to be getting more urgent that I come to terms with it rather than easing off. I feel out of step with it yet, not quite dancing or in tune.
My life seems more like chaos than Art.
Venus is displeased.
"You're not dancing," she says. Clearly I'm not keeping time properly.
Tick tock.
You'd think for a man who spends all of his days behind a piano that the skill sets of time-keeping and music-making would have bled into all of the synapses, crossed the divide, and made me a sensible, unified, Graceful Man.
Nope!
Amazing how obtuse and bordered we can be within ourselves.
How easy it is to slip into blindness!
Well, here's to getting off my ass and making something with my life in addition to enjoying it.
